My God, Sterling H!
I have just spent the last hour reading through this thread, and I must say; you have had your share of bad luck!
From what I can gather, you're as new to this hobby as me, only you jumped in head first
Have you gotten to fly that E-Razor yet? Or are you still waiting for the tail-servo?
Being a newbie myself, I feel I can relate to the frustration you must have been feeling since you got your bird.
I was luckily pointed in a somewhat right direction by the sales-rep who sold me my first 4CH-bird. Back then I didn't know what "channels", "aileron", "gyros" etc. meant.
My best tip, newbie to newbie; spend some research-hours on Google. Browse forums, guides, Youtube, everthing you can find! Since I started out (May this year), I have probably spent over 100 hours just reading and watching clips online. A even better tip must be to join a club, or get to know someone who is in the hobby already - then maybe you could shave off some of the "research-hours". It should of course be noted that you've already found a good place to learn. The people here are sure some of the most helpful guys I've ever come across on a forum.
Regarding your Tx-choice.
You should definitely go for a 6-channel or more. And the DX6i which has been proposed previously is probably a very good way to go. I myself have acquired a DX7S, which is the 6's bigger brother. Based on the information I've found, and my personal experience, I do think its a great radio. The only thing I'm missing is a back-lit display
It must of course be noted that I haven't actually used it on a live bird yet, but I have flown a bunch of hours in Phoenix flight-sim.
Regarding your Heli-choice.
As you know, I'm in the middle of building my first 450 from Align. I selected this bird particularly based on hours of research and reading reviews. There was also the question; flybar vs. flybarless for my part, but the decision fell on the flybarless. The flybarless only winning over the flybarred by a hair in the choice-process, due to a public opinion that flybarless is a tad easier to fly if set up correctly. Now I do not have any experience with flying and using an Align 450 yet, but I must say; Align does have a good reputation among RC-pilots. If your budget can handle it, buy an Align 450. I think it doesn't really matter much which model you choose, or if it is flybarred or not, just that it's an Align-heli.
Building vs. RTF.
If you have some patience and a tad of technical insight - you're probably able to build the bird yourself. Plus, it's a learning experience, I should know
Besides, with the included instruction-manual and a build-video on the web, you're set! If you buy a RTF, it is strongly advised to check every screw, bolt and nut anyway, so you'll end up "building" it anyway. And a second thing; I see everywhere, everywhere I've been reading and searching, they all say the same thing: You're gonna crash sooner or later anyway, then you'll be glad you know how to take the bird apart.
Aaah, good to get this of my mind.
Much longer post than intended